Moments - Part I - Chapter 5: Summer

The summer that year, between third and fourth grade, was hard to say the least. My family was going on our annual family vacation. Like usual, my parents had invited Jack. But, this time, Jack told us his father said he couldn’t go. His father didn’t seem to care about him at all, so the only reason I could imagine him not wanting Jack to go was to hurt him...again. But, unfortunately, my parents had to abide by his wishes. We went to Hawaii that year. I don’t remember much about the state. I was too busy worrying and thinking about Jack and if he was bored or even okay. I tried to call him a few times—he still didn’t have a home phone, so my dad bought him a cheap cell phone in case of an emergency—but he never picked up. I wanted to have fun, really! And I felt guilty for not having fun. I mean, what kind of kid doesn’t have fun in Hawaii? But, without Jack there, it just didn’t seem that fun at all. 

“Hey, Al! Could you at least pretend like you wanna be at the beach?!” Will yelled at me from about ten feet away from me in the ocean. That’s when I decided to put Jack out of my mind, at least for the time being, at least for this day on the beach, so I could enjoy this time with my family. And I did. Will and I played in the ocean and hunted for seashells. Bo and I built sandcastles too close to the shoreline and they all got wiped away by the beautiful ocean. And then all three of us sat on our beach blankets next to my parents and just layed there. And after the beach, we went to a stand that sold snow cones. I got blue raspberry.

When we got back to the hotel, my dad had three messages on his phone—all from the number of that cheap cellphone my parents gave to Jack. My dad let me borrow his phone and I called him back immediately. As soon as I heard someone pick up, I said, “Jack? Are you okay? I’ve been calling you.”

“Whoa. Calm down. Everything’s fine, Al,” a voice I recognized as Jack’s told me. “You worry way too much.”

“Then, why are you calling?” I asked, confused.

Listening to Jack’s reply, I could tell he was smiling. “Uh, because you’re my best friend maybe? And I wanted to see how Hawaii’s going! Is it fun? Is it hot? How’s the hotel? How’s the food? Did you go to the beach? Did you already forget about me?”

“Yes. Oh yes, definitely. Good. Interesting—they put pineapple on pizza here. So weird. We did.”  I didn’t hesitate. “Never.”

His tone took on a more serious tone as he said, “I can’t wait till you get back, Gray.”

“Are you sure you’re okay, Jack?” I asked, worriedly.

“Like I said,” Jack replied, “you worry too much. I’ll talk to you later.” And he hung up.

“Everybody, let’s go! Get in the car! We’re gonna find somewhere to eat for dinner!” my mom yelled so we all heard her.

“So, how’s Jack?” my dad asked me as we were leaving the hotel room.

I hesitated. “He said he was fine.”

“And you don’t believe him?” he asked.

“I—He said he was fine. Why wouldn’t I believe him?” I said.

“Do you?” he asked.

I sighed. “No. I don’t know why. I’m worried about him. He told me I worry too much,” I told him.

That made him smile. “He’s got a point.” I started to stomp off because now it felt a little like I was being ganged up on, but my dad grabbed my arm and stopped me before I could get anywhere. “Al, that’s not a bad thing. I’ve known you for a while now, haven’t I?” I nodded. “So, I can honestly say that you, my friend, have your momma’s intuition. You know what that means?” I shook my head. He kneeled down and put his face close to my face and whispered, “You’re usually right.” That made me smile. He stood back up as we began walking to the car. He said to me as we walked, “Babe, you gotta trust your gut. I do.” 

So, I worried. For the rest of the trip, I worried. Because, being nine years old, I couldn’t do anything about my fear that Jack wasn’t okay. I had to finish up this vacation. It sounds weird to say that about Hawaii—that I was forced to stay—but that’s how it felt to me.

We were there for a total of four weeks, starting in the second week of June, with that call to Jack being at the end of week one, and from that moment on, it felt like we were in Hawaii forever. But by the time we got back home, it was July and it was night time, eleven o’clock—too late to see or talk to Jack. In fact, Will, Bo, and I had to go straight to bed. 

If you’ve ever experienced extreme but unexplainable or evidential worry for someone you love, you can probably already guess that I didn’t sleep that night. Just a lot of tossing and turning and trusting of my gut. By this time, I was certain something was wrong at the Harlem house, but I had no idea what. 

At first, my worry masqueraded itself as chattery excitement, and my brother can and will attest to that. For about an hour, I just talked to him while he actually tried to sleep, but he was a good sport about it and he didn’t have to be. Eventually though, my mom came in and told us we needed to be quiet and go to sleep, and I know Will was happy about that, but I wasn’t. Now I just had to lie there and listen to my thoughts. And my thoughts only told me one thing on repeat: Jack was in trouble and I had no way to get to him, to help him, at least in that moment. 

Tags: Sad, Humor, Depressing, Hope, Dark,