Good God? The pain of this is immense, intense An offence on every pain receptor A leper will tell you pain is a gift As he cuts his foot off with a spade Not feeling a thing whilst bleeding to death. I found out there are people who turn up To hospital with too much emotional pain to maintain And rein in. Just too far out there imaginable An improbable foreseeable doable deed. I wouldn't be that stupid But I understand the desperation. Every good bye is "airport" goodbye Know what I mean? 2 parts normal Yeah it's normal to feel like this you dumbass Hah, yeah, really, silly Oh I feel so much better now NOT! How am I going to get home? We think walking would be the best for you Barefoot in hospital issue PJs I can see how that would do me good "Jesus committed Suicide" Is that heresy? An abomination? Our suicide is death to him This is where our resurrection freedom lies In Dying to ourselves we live IN HIM I haven't found the way in to HIM Yet. I try so hard. I hate what I am and who I am And how I feel. I've tried to surrender Tried to yield At those times I was cured Yes I was indeed healed And sealed to your anvil Some grand evil is against me From whence I can not flee Randomly formed plans randomly formed Incomprehensibly against me. So What?