Suit and tie with briefcase to match Walking through crowded streets It’s his full time daily occupation Selling insurance to all the gullibles that he meets But when evening comes a calling A transformation starts to take place He sheds his expected masculine chains And applies fresh makeup to his long and chiselled face His hair becomes long and curly The sequinned dress squeezes over his head A man named Sylvia has awoken As it has done since the day he wed Down at the curious disco Where the people are who they’re meant to be Sylvia sings like Shirley Bassey All high pitched in a drag act key The odd little flirting in the corner A little peck from the naughty old queens She glides through the crowd like royalty A showgirl with no ends and no means Then it’s back home to the wife A marriage of convenience free of stresses No strings, no children or awkward words Just Sylvia, suits and ties and dresses