Who Am I

poem by: Olivia Fletcher
Written on Mar 21, 2017

Some mornings I wake up 
And I don't feel like me 
It's like someone cut open my skin 
And crawled inside my body 

I feel like a zombie 
Walking through a world that joyful and lively 
My mind is full of dust and clouds 
Shes just not fucking functioning 

Most people describe the way I feel 
As depression and sadness 
But to me, its more like 
Fatigue, empty, and madness 

What triggers these days
Of not being me?
Is it the stress? The exhaustion? 
But that all seems so novelty 

No one ever really gets 
How this shit makes me feel 
They don't understand the craziness
And the mood swings my mind instills 

Maybe one day I will get better 
Or maybe I will always be like this 
Sometimes those thoughts make me scared 
To have a husband and kids 

Will I be able to be
The woman a family needs?
Because I want nothing more 
Than a family to lead 

I wish I had the answers 
To what the fucks wrong with my mind 
I just hope one day I can wake up every morning 
Knowing who I'll find 

 

Tags: rhyme, depressing, hope,

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Geoffrey Brewer commented:
You are you. But you can be many personalities. There is no single 'true', 'real' one. It's alright. We all do it. Embrace whoever you are being at that time.
Robert Kohlhammer commented:
A good piece of writing, a piece to channel all your energies and write what you feel.
Tugrul Uysal commented on Jul 07, 2024 at 2:10am
Dear Olivia, Your poem resonates deeply with the struggles many face in navigating their inner worlds. It bravely captures the disorienting feeling of waking up and not recognizing oneself, as if someone else has taken residence within. The vivid imagery of feeling like a zombie in a world that appears joyful and lively speaks volumes about the stark contrast between internal and external realities. Your honest portrayal of grappling with labels like depression and sadness, while feeling that these terms don't quite encompass your experience, is incredibly relatable. The way you describe it as fatigue, emptiness, and madness provides a nuanced perspective that sheds light on the complexity of mental health challenges. I admire your courage in expressing the frustration of feeling misunderstood by others who may not comprehend the depth of your emotional turmoil and the unpredictability of mood swings. Your poem poignantly captures the fear and uncertainty about the future, particularly in terms of relationships and family, and the longing for clarity and stability. In sharing your journey, you offer solace and understanding to those who may be going through similar struggles, reminding them that they are not alone. Your words are a powerful reminder of the importance of empathy, self-acceptance, and hope for brighter mornings ahead. With admiration.

 

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