Babies are contagious Nobody has one for ages Everything's chilled and then all of a sudden, The world and his wife have a bun in the oven. Your mates spend their evenings at home changing nappies, They've all become dull now they're mammies and pappys And people who used to stay up all night raving are now losing sleep with their kids misbehaving. You pop to your friends house for catch up and wine But you can't hear eachother for screaming and crying And every five minutes she's leaving the room To attend the small person who came from her womb! My boy is big now and sometimes I think That I might like another one Chubby and pink But then I remember the noise and the stink And I smile as I smoke and I pour a big drink.