In Fato Stellarum

I never thought that I’d be this person with my 21st creeping up on me, 
As a 15-year-old school kid I thought I’d have a girl on my arm back then. 
With a phone book full of close friends who all wanted me at their party, 
And maybe a car to drive and a wallet packed with tenner’s way back when. 

I never thought that I’d end up at a southern seaside town some day, 
Studying towards a career that frightens me to the very core of my soul. 
With a burning interest in writing something lyrical in my own natural way, 
Praying good things might sail my way and hand me my ideal lifetime role. 

I never thought that I’d live my life without a drop of alcohol inside of me,
Given my father drinks his fair share down without a second’s thought to be fair. 
He knows how deeply it frightens me and how worrying his health can be, 
Praying maybe one day he’ll change his habits after yet another cancer scare. 

I never thought that I’d move away and miss my family home quite so much, 
Knowing my mother was back there wishing I had chosen somewhere near. 
Despite the fact I’d outgrown that place and the lads that weren’t friends as such, 
Hearing them mocking the music in my ears and my lust for the sea and the pier. 

I never thought that I’d travel across this country with one of my closest mates, 
Watching United battle for a draw against some Ukrainian side miles up North. 
Before sleeping with that stunning girl I once knew from the Rochdale estates, 
On my 20th birthday morning wishing all year I could travel back and forth. 

I never thought that I’d chase love like it was a loose kite way up in the sky, 
Running so fast that my legs can barely carry the disappointment in my heart. 
Watching a teen couple eat their McDonald’s as they give true romance a try, 
Reflecting on the years at school where I was a third wheel from the very start. 

I never thought that I’d meet so many meaningful people on a blog website, 
Adjoined by a mutual love of honest music and a caring nature few still own. 
They all seem to know me deep down and Rosie has never been more right, 
Laying her honest reflection down upon me tying off the seeds she has sewn. 

I never thought that I’d want to have a tattoo drilled deep into my young skin, 
Marking myself for life like so many of my generation all seem to have done. 
A spot of permanence might spark a change and give my confidence a spin, 
That’s if I overcome the anxiety surrounding a battle by now I should have won. 

I never thought that I’d spend a night with my favourite band in London town, 
Petrified of uttering a word in their presence and saying something boring. 
Remembering James had saved me 2 years ago when I was nothing but down, 
With a head full of nonsense and a misguided notion that maybe I could sing. 

I suppose I never really thought that life would turn out quite this way at all, 
But in truth life is a journey packed with a train ride of surprises in store for me. 
As I bundle my way along through the flame of fate that flickers at nightfall, 
Lighting my walking silhouette that carries my past ahead for all of you to see. 

Tags: happy, sad, rhyme,