Love that Haunts me still

When I was young , still  a bit to young to date, sometimes I would meet this young man by the church gate.
It was innocent and it was sweet, at the church socials we would sit together and eat.

His eyes seem to dance a golden speckled brown, and I so loved to have him around.
He had a dream to be a preacher and for me he was a great Sunday School Teacher

I was 14 and he 21, I new I loved him with all of my heart but mama said he was to old for me
and to soon we would part.

we kept talking for a while on the phone, but I was a child and he was grown.
He told me one day, through the phone in my ear
something a teenage girl dreams of, and I so longed to hear.

He said, he would wait and one day together we could share our life
That he would be my husband and I would be his wife.

But through many reasons and time and many seasons it was not allowed to be
I felt that my reason for living was pulled out of me.

One day he called me on the phone, he seemed not like himself at all
he said I want to talk to you, after school please give me a call.

later that evening when homework was done, I put my pencil down, this call was my fun

He answered the phone said  and I could hear him crying
He said baby I can't take any more, Inside of me is dying.

You are my reason for living my air my breath and without you baby 
I only see my death.

I didn't know what to do, I searched for the right thing to say.
My reply was simple , sweet heart it will be better one day.

that must've been the wrong thing, kind of a blunder
he blew up with a voice of thunder.

I have been trying all of my life and waiting so long to make you my wife
I know now it will never ever be for all to soon your taken from me.

So you don't have to worry go on with your life when you grow and mature
you will be someone else's wife.

I tried to speak say something profound but on the other end , was only a dial tone sound

The next day was breakfast and straight to school
no time to dilly dabble we had all our rules.

When I got home, mama met me at the door with a expression on her face I had never saw before.

Honey sit down, I need to tell you something  so come close and she patted the seat
I finally sat and felt my heart skip a beat.

She said your friend__________Oh child , he's gone, he took his own life they found him in his home.
Oh I let out a scream you could hear down the road, I cried and I cried how the news took it's toll.

Life has moved on  over 40 years I wont ever forget that day , those tears

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