I don’t know much of nothing; I don’t know how you feel, and I don’t want to either. We’re nothing special. You spent nearly 40 years with your kid. And he’s just tragically died alone. All the breathless choking, rising yellow vial, dry retching, sliced Achillies, and legless crawling, won’t ever leave you. It will never ever diminish. Why the whuk would it? Why the whuk would you want it to leave? It keeps you alive, just enough, to remember his every single whuking breath. Hold onto it so you can judge him in in his X-rated movie life. Evoke and cast spells to bring him back. You will however, do your best to grow, around it. If you are a tad lucky, only then, will it fuse into something that allows you to remember everyone else, maybe. I know that about you.