My mother suffered from dementia in the last few years of her life. When we realize, that the end of life, may be approaching, other thoughts and feelings arise. My mother held on for a long period. Dying, thus prolonged, can become more a time of suffering, than of living. Letting go, gets mixed up in our minds, with a person wanting to die. Although, these are really separate situations. There are various reasons a person may want to die; reasons quite separate from rational thinking. What is really best for the one who is dying, and for the others around? Given that death is unavoidable, what is the kindest thing to do? It might be holding on. It might be letting go. When my mother ultimately succumbed to the disease. It's a common belief that when someone you love, dies from a long-term illness, you're prepared for it. After my mother's death, I was in a complete blur. She was dead, and I'd never get another chance to talk to her. That was it. But, a few days after allowing myself, the raw emotions of grief; I started to replay some memories of our time on earth together. As I consciously, and continually strive to live a life that's not filled with regret and settling; I find myself leaning on life lessons- I've learned, to embrace in personal reflections of my mother. My 'goodbye letter' I read at her wake in front of family and all her dear friends: I just thought I'd say I love you and goodbye I just want to remember you As a beautiful shining star I will miss you dearly I will never forget our talks Conversations on the phone How happy you were to see me When I finally came back home As I sit here and wonder How things would have turned out Not to have been part of your life Was there ever a doubt I would see you again Just didn't know when I know we had our ups and downs But still nothing tore us apart You said you worried so much about me I worried about you too I know that was the hardest thing back then That we both ever had to do I know you always loved me No one needs to show me I will always know You were my guardian angel Mom when I was a little boy Sitting on your lap Whispering your words of wisdom To use as I get older You know what Mom I never thought I'd lose you Where I'll go from here I still haven't got a clue I hope you'll watch over me Be my guiding light Giving me the strength I need I don't want to say goodbye But we'll meet again someday You and I will pick up where we left off During our happy time Now you'll be dancing with the angels As always I love you, Mom © daniel miltz