DAYS WITH THE CRAZYS

                                                    3/23/11

                    DAYS WITH THE CRAZYS
                         Written by
                         L.C. SCOTT

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but how does someone who enters a psychiatric ward, without an evaluation, automatically gets placed on medication and is labeled crazy? Yet the doctors are sane, WOW! I guess nobody can stop the drug dealer's hustle. Oh you didn’t know - that doctors are drug dealers - who don’t serve time in jail for moving all that weight for the pharmaceutical companies. People wake the fuck up!!! Don’t believe me?! Let me explain: let’s say, if I were ever a “drug dealer” and I walk up to you and say, “Hey Joe blow. I notice that you know a lot of people. I’m gonna give you a pound of my sticky ikie, Here, smell it. Yeah!!! Give it away to your friends and once they get hooked you just refer them to me and I, will in turn, cut you a fat check for your assistance. What do you think, play boy?” Joe blow says Waait!! “I can’t do that I don’t want to be responsible for getting my friends and strangers hooked on the sticky ikie. I’m a good person who cares about other human beings.” “Joe, Joe, chill all you have to do is hire someone who can give it to people, that person reports to you and you report to me, a matter a fact the person who you hire can be code named, The Nurse.....

“Oso! Oso wake up! Oso! What did you do?”

“ Hello.” answered the dispatcher.

“ Yes, my son’s been drinking and he took some sleeping pills.”

 As I hear the siren, all I can think is: any minute now, I’ll be with her again. It won’t matter as the tears run down my face and then I blank out.
 
“Oso! Stay with me. Oso” I heard the voice of in the distance.

 I’m with an  officer and I blank out.
“ Oso!” I hear as I am woken up by knuckles being pressed against my chest 

“Oso! How many pills did you take?”

I blank out. Once again, a pain to my chest and I wake up.
“ Oso, how many pills did you take?”

Sorry readers, but its time for a pause that gives me and you the reader time to step back and deeply analyze what the fuck is really going on. We’ll have a lot of this through the course of the story. But, don’t they know that the knuckle shit hurts!!! 
Back to the story... 
When I come in, two women are looking at me. 

“Hi, Oso. I’m doctor...”

I blank out but before I think to myself - damn! She is fine… She start asking me questions about why I was trying to kill myself. I inform her that I just lost my mother and she meant the world to me. After crying and opening up to them, my closest friends - my uncle and Dad - come in to see me. We talk for a while. The nurse lady who I thought was cool, comes in to advise me that I have been placed under the baker act. 

“I’m sorry what are we about to bake, ma’am?”
 “No Oso the baker act.”

 For those of you who don’t know what that is, because I was just as dumb founded as you might be right now, the baker act means you have no rights and the doctor can keep you against your will for up to 72 hours, 72hours got damn!!! After my family and friends left they advised me that I had been admitted and to follow one of the doctor’s who took me to another area of the institute. Now, I thought I was going to my room so I can sleep and rest, WRONG! I was taken to a room were I was asked more questions and sat in a cold room for a duration of 4 hours, then at midnight, I was finally instructed to follow one of the nurses to my room. I followed nurse E into another corridor and he proceeded to retrieve blankets for me.

 I finally got a chance to lay down; man, I thought to myself, maybe, this is a dream and when I wake up, my mom will still be alive and I would be in my room lying down staring at the ceiling fan, wondering where my life is going, yeah… this is a bad nightmare that will end soon; but, why is it so cold in this nightmare. The next morning I woke up staring, but not at my ceiling fan, at a wall that had no clock; so, I didn’t know what time it was. Sunday March 20, 2011, Knock knock! 

“Oso time for breakfast. Come and get your breakfast.”
 “Yes sir, thank you.” 

I poked my head out the door and realized that it was not a dream and I wasn’t going to wake up. I walked passed one of the nursing stations.

“Good morning, ma’am. Sorry to bother you but where do I pick up breakfast?” 

“Just walk down the hall and make a left.” 

“Thank you.”

 As I walked down the hall, I walked passed a room with a bunch of other patients in it, eating breakfast. Damn! Do I have to eat in there? 

 “Who are you ?“ Asked Nurse J.

“Good morning, ma’am. My name is Oso. How are you.”

 “Ooh, you're Oso. I’m your Nurse J. When you're done eating come talk to me.”

“Yes ma’am. Nurse J, can I ask you a question?” I just kept on, “do I have to eat in that room with everyone or can I eat in the other room down the hall?”

 “You can eat in the other room baby, that’s fine.”

 After eating, I went to speak to nurse J, 
“How are you nurse J?” 

“OK, Oso how are you doing?”

“I’m fine. Nurse J so why are you here?”

Pause... You know what I hate about hospitals? Everyone asks you the same damn questions over and over again, like they can’t just read the charts which clearly states that I attempted to kill myself, duh! 
Back to the story...
“You don’t seem like you belong here,” said Nurse J
“Haha.” I giggled.

 “Whats so funny?”

 “Nothing. I feel like I should wear a tape recorder around my neck; so, when people ask me why am I here, I can just press play.”

 “Haha, you're silly. I see here you took sleeping pills and drank a lot of alcohol and your alcohol level was 2.02. Wow! Those are levels that most of the alcoholics that come in here have. Why did you do that Oso?”

 “My mom passed away this past Tuesday and I didn’t know what to do; who to talk to; or why it had to be her, because I loved her so much and hoped for her to get well; but, instead I got shocking news.”

 “Do you have kids?”

 “Yes. A son.”

 “OK, Oso, why would you do that, knowing you have a son that needs you to be there for him? You don’t belong here. You're such a pleasant young man. (low tone) listen, when the doctor comes don’t argue with him. If he tells you to take medication, tell him ok; so, you can get out of here or he will keep you for 72 hours. OK, Oso?”
 “Yes, ma’am. Thank you.”

 At this point I felt a tad bit at ease. I said to myself, OK, all I have to do is impress the doc and I’m out of this place, sounds easy enough, cause I’m a people  person. Once the doc sits down and evaluates me, he will clearly see that I don’t belong here and that I was just going through shock that was caused by my late-great-mothers passing. It won’t take a rocket scientist to see that. As I lie in bed thinking of all the things to say to the doctor, I thought to myself: how easy it would be for a normal person to go crazy in this place. I mean if I had a T.V., clock and a phone in my room it might be OK; but, this is fucked up. I don’t even know what time it is? As the hours passed, I fell in and out of sleep thinking about what happened and what I did. Knock, Knock 

“Yes sir.”

“Hi. I’m doctor S. How are you feeling?”
“ Fine doctor”

 “So, what brought you here?”

“Well doctor, my mother passed away on Tuesday and I didn’t know how to deal with it. My mother was my best friend, so I...”

 “OK, Oso. Sorry to hear that. I’m going to put you on medication. Just sign the paperwork and you should be fine. As he walked out, I thought to myself: what the hell was that? I hope that was not his way of evaluating me. What kind of fucking place is this? A couple of hours passed and I was called to sign away my mental freedom. Nurse J explained to me that I was getting a pill for depression, sleeping pills and a pill that will stop me from having withdrawal from the alcohol, which I thought was stupid as hell and sounded like some crack head shit to me. 
“Oso, go into the rec room and get your blood pressure taken by nurse JR.”

“Yes ma’am.”

As I walked into the rec room there were other patients in the room. Some were seated waiting to have their blood pressure taken and the others were talking and telling jokes. Oh shit! One of them is coming up to me. yaya Jimmy, what I replied Jimmy he yelled once again, I then went into my ghetto mode “naw buddy I don’t know what you talkin bout my name ain’t no damn Jimmy.” He then looked at me one more time saying sorry and proceeded to walk away but you can tell that he was a bit off.
 
“Oso?” The nurse called.

“Yes sir.”

“You're up.” he called out as I walked around the table while I said hi those who were seated. 

“So, what you doin in here young man?”

“I drank a lot of alcohol, sir.”

 “You drank a lot of alcohol! What kind of alcohol?”
“Grey goose.”

 “Grey goose!” Nurse JR mocked me, “oh shit, you rich. That’s that good stuff. You didn’t bring non with you?”
 As he took my blood pressure I thought to myself that it felt so good to laugh it was somewhat of a relief.

“Thank you nurse JR.” 
 
“For what young man?”

“For nothing. I just wanted to say thank you.”

“Well your very welcome son.”

Lying in bed not knowing what time it was might be very hard to do for someone else, but not for me. I just let my mind wonder. I even thought of an invention.
 
“Oso!”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Time for your medication.”

“Fuck.” I thought. What am I going to do? should I tell her I don’t want it? No. I can’t tell her that or she might tell doctor S and I’ll be in here forever. I looked in the cup before putting the blue pill in my mouth.
 
“Open your mouth.”

I opened really wide to show my compliance then returned to my room, back to my bed, wondering when the nightmare would end. Knock Knock, 

“Oso!”

“Yes sir.”
 
“You don’t smoke? They're taking everyone who wants to smoke before visiting hours.”

“No sir. I don’t smoke.”

I thought to myself it’s bad enough these so called doctors are trying to kill me with fucked up medication but now your going to allow people to go outside and inhale poison from a cigarette, everyone here in on meds… does anyone know if mixing killer cigarettes with the drug dealers meds is safe, anyone anyone? While everyone was on some brake I asked nurse E if I could use the phone, Nurse E of course you can you don’t have to ask me Oso it’s right around the corner, thank you sir. The first call I made is to my son and it took a lot for me not to cry, lol… all he wanted to know is what I was doing hearing his voice made me realize that I fucked up big time and that what I tried to do was so stupid because he needs me and that my mom would not be happy knowing that I left her little boy that she loved with everything she had in her heart…………………. 

I can’t help but to cry while I write this because my mother was a great women anyone who knew her would say the same thing and fuck that lady could cook she was the best cook in the world………… Sorry I’ll try to stop crying but I’m not making any promises. Back to the crazy shit, now it’s visiting hour I see my dad coming in, to see him was great for the first time in a long time I never really seen my dad cry but you can tell he was holding it back once he saw me. We sat and talked he asked me how I was doing and for the first time ever me and my dad talked man to man not him lying to me and hiding things from me like he had always done in the passed it was genuine and after, Hello everyone visiting hours are over please say you goodbye’s and head to the exit, fuck I thought now I’m all alone again. 

I walked back to my cell got into bed and under my covers my mind starts to drift again I wonder what time it is, how long will they keep me, I think I can escape but how would I do it, fuck that I can do it I’m smart as hell!!! but trying to kill myself was so stupid damn I really let a lot of people who love me down, I beat my mom is very disappointed in me. I’m the way I am because of my mom, very polite, respectful to others because when I was 16 I realized that I represent her every time I speak, every time I dress, how I act and every time I make a dissension I am a representation of her and what I did made her look bad and I am so sorry. 

Oso! Yes ma’am, come get your medication, I get up and when I get there I look into the cup and now I have three pills, what the fuck!!! These motherfuckers are trying to kill me, open your mouth, I open my mouth for her then return to my room under the covers, I started to cry silently so my cell mate would not hear me, will they ever let me out, why did they give me three pills. Monday, March 21, 2011, Knock, Knock good morning guys I come to take your blood pressure then you guys can go get breakfast. They had to take my blood pressure twice because my readings were high. Right before breakfast the nurse gave me three pills, Nurse J, did you speak to the doctor (drug dealer) yesterday? Yes ma’am, Nurse J, Well what did he say, nothing he asked me why I was here and then told me he was going to put me on medication, Nurse J, Oso you need to tell him that you have a son and you need to get back to work so he could let you go you don’t belong here sweat heart I can tell, you just made a mistake and you need to tell him this ok. 

Yes ma’am, I ate breakfast in my room and started to think of what I would say to doctor S (drug dealer) when he came in, I went through tons of things to say to him until I fell asleep to the point where I felt that if I stuck to my story doctor S (drug dealer) was going to let me out today once I gave him my sob story. Knock, knock doctor S (drug dealer) who is awake hey roommate your awake, I was playing sleep but I was awake listening. Doctor S(drug dealer) roommate how do you feel, roommate, ok I feel good, doctor S (drug dealer) do you feel like killing yourself, roommate, no sir I don’t want to kill myself doctor I need to go home I have kids and I need to go to work. 

Doctor S (drug dealer), well why did you take the rat poison. Rat poison!! I thought to myself this dude was really trying to checkout not saying that what I did was any better but damn!! That motherfucka crazy fuck my life!!! and there goings my whole sob story about how I… need to get back to work and be with my son. Roommate, sir I don’t want to take rat poison I don’t want to hurt myself I need to be with my kids. Doctor S (drug dealer) roommate I talk to you yesterday about this I’m not letting you out until I feel that you are ready and I’m not going to sit here and debate with you, roommate, but doct…Hi Oso, hi doctor (drug dealer), doctor do you feel like killing yourself, no doctor, doctor S (drug dealer) did you take the medication, yes sir I the nurse gave me one at five and, doctor S (drug dealer) yeah yeah yeah just keep taking the meds and you’ll be ok. 

As he walked away I wanted to ask him if I was getting out today but I didn’t want to get on his bad side like roommate did, I just put the covers over my head and went back to sleep. Nurse E, time for lunch Oso buddy go get your lunch, I walked to go get my lunch and was stopped before I can get there. Oso come take your meds, yes ma’am, after taking the I quickly got my tray and went to my room, damn what the fuck is this shit I though why don’t they ask me what I want to eat I don’t want to eat this shit which I didn’t, but I eat the cookie and drank some orange jucie. After lunch I final got a  wif of myself an it was not pretty (put a scratch and snif thing in the book) I quickly got some soap and my tooth brush and went into the bathroom oh my goodness that feels a bit better, I don’t smell like goat ass anymore and back to bed I go thinking to myself again how much I hate this place and the people who put me here even though it was my fault for this happening I think I would be a better place if someone was truly trying to help me coop with the passing of my mother. 

Knock knock, Oso is Oso in here, yes sir, Hi I’m doctor A (drug dealer) can we talk outside, yes sir fuck I’m getting out today! I’m getting out today! I thought to myself. Doctor A (drug dealer) how do you feel Oso? Good sir, doctor A (drug dealer) Good is the medication working, yes sir, good good I just want to let you know that the pills you took are things we can get out of your system but the only thing that we can’t reverse are things like aspirin, ok sir I was listening to this idiot talk but I couldn’t stop to think is this what these dumb fucks make a shit load of money for why the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!! would you tell me something like this knowing that I just tried to kill myself, Movie pause so Doctor (drug dealer) what your trying to tell me is that my dumb ass took the wrong shit and if I really wanted to checkout this is how to do it thanks dick head. 

Back to the story doctor A (drug dealer) so just keep that in mind Oso you seem fine, ok doctor (drug dealer) thank you I had a chance to talk about all the bottled up things I had inside of me… Doctor A (drug dealer) I hear you Oso but I have to go know take care. I went back to my bed in a state of joy not caring if he wanted to hear my story or not I was getting out today and I am going to focus on my son and my happiness because that’s what my mom would want me to do, Knock knock Oso, yes sir hi I’m your social worker, hi sir nice to meet you yeah right I thought, dumb ass, I wanted to know who your psychologist is, who is my psychologist sir I don’t have one. Movie pause what kind of shit brain operation are they running here stupid I’m pretty sure if you look in the system if you fuckers have it, it does not show a record of me having mental issues num nuts what the fuck do you get paid for to be a dumb ass, dumb ass. 

Back to the story, ok so this is your first time here, yes sir, ok that all I wanted to know, ok sir thank you what the fuck was that about I thought but I was still in good spirits because not one but two people came to speak with me today shit I’m out this muthafucka. Back to bed I’ll be gone any minute know I will be gone from this place and it will all be behind me, Oso! Yes ma’am oh shit I’m out this shit I thought come get your meds, damn! Back to bed I go but still happy because I’m out this muthafucka, Knock knock, Oso yes sir this is it I thought, it’s dinner time go get your dinner, yes sir after barely eating because the food looked like it did yesterday like shit I started to get depressed once again I started to think I hate the people who are doing this to me. 

And to the others in here just like me, if I ever get out of here I will write a book about this fucked up place so people know that there is no one being helped mentally we are just being pumped full of drugs so the doctors (drug dealers) can make a profit and ride around in nice cars it’s funny how people think of doctors as life savers like fireman but let me tell you people this a fireman does not tell you that he will not help you if you don’t have insurance or before I give you CPR you need to sign right there and take these pills, I don’t know what they do to you but  just take them so I can get a fat check from the drug lords (pharmaceutical companies), no I don’t think fireman say things like that when faced with trying to HELP!!! Others. 

I know one thing when I get out of this place I am going to write a book about all this shit so people will know what goes on in these places I owe it to my mom, the people that are here and the public. Knock knock, nurse E Oso, yes sir I jumped up like a spring chicken this is it I thought  peace out fuck hole, nurse E you have visitors as I walk out I see my best friend Tommy and my dad, we went into the rec room and they asked me how I was doing, I told them I was ok but inside I was really hurting because I knew once they left I would once again be alone and scared with no one to help me, after a short time my friend Tommy said he was leaving because my uncle Franklyn was waiting outside to see me as well but I knew that he was leaving because he couldn’t stand to see me caged up like some animal it was hard to see those who visited me hold back their tears because they wanted to be strong for me so I would stay strong, when my uncle came in I told my father and him how a guy in here who at this time looked like a zombie was fine the other day smiling and laughing but now he looks fucked up and it’s because of what they gave him and there is another kid he is the worst one of us all he doesn’t even talk and walks around like a fucking zombie, he scared the fuck out of me when I was using the phone yesterday.

 Let me tell you all the story, I was trying to call my girlfriend after talking to my dad on the phone as I turned I saw him walking towards me, got damn it I thought so I went into my ghetto mode again. Zombie rah rahrahoone, what dawg what you need homey! Rah rahrahoone, Oh you wanna use the phone? As he shook his headdrule fell from his mouth I felt so bad for him and wanted to ask him why he was here and how he got in the condition he was in but he probably wouldn’t be able to tell me anyways. Hello everyone visiting hours is over before he left I asked my dad if anyone called him from this place and said anything about my release, he told me that the doctor called him and said I was getting out tomorrow I wanted to jump on the table and start yelling fuck you to everyone but I kept my composer. Hello everyone visiting hours are over please head to the exit, fuck I’m alone again but at least I knew that I was getting out tomorrow. 

Once my dad left I went to my room I brushed my teeth, washed my hair and my balls too cause I was not getting in that nasty shower, Oso time for your medication; excuse me readers the dope dealers are calling yet again, after the distribution of drugs my spirits were still up as I laid in my bed this time all I could think about is how fucked up this place was and how I could help the people in here when I got out then I started to think that it wasn’t my problem and that I didn’t belong here and who cares about what goes on in here I need to mind my business and focus on myself; I’ll be out and I could just live my life. Snack time come get ya snack! I jumped up! And sprinted to the rec room on the other side of the wing where nurse JR was giving out sandwiches I took my sandwich and juice and quickly went to the rec room that was next to my room, I took the turkey out of the sandwich kept the cheese and added mayo; what!! I’m a picky eater but for some odd reason that was the best meal I ever had, I got a cup and poured myself some cold water. 

Zombie walks in rah rahrah, what’s up man you want a sandwich go get one from Nurse JR, Zombie rah rahrah; he attempted to grab my snack bag and I grab his hand saying bro this is mine go get your own you know what you want some water? He took the water taking small sips here you want my apple, as I said that the nurse walked in, Oso it’s time to take your meds (drugs) Zombie leave Oso alone; nurse I tried to tell him where to get a sandwich from; Oso don’t even waste your time nurse said he doesn’t know if he is coming or going. At that very moment I felt like the biggest piece of shit on the planet for thinking that what goes on in here is not my problem, it is my problem I need to write about this shit and let the people know what these doctors (drug dealers) are doing, to them we are nothing but lab rats that they can test these drugs on. 

Max walks in and sits next to me, hi he says hey what’s up, Oso come take your meds (drugs) I start to panic because I just started eating and I can’t go straight to my room after taking the meds (drugs) as the drugs started to dissolve in my mouth I said fuck in my mind but Zombie then spilled the water on the table, I jumped up I’ll clean it!!! I went to the corner behind the frig took paper and spit the drugs out into the paper, Oh….. did you all really think I was taking this shit come on people if I would have taken those drugs I might have not remembered the whole ordeal; so that’s why I would go to my room quickly after the meds (drugs) were given I would spit them out and flush them down the toilet. 

Back to the story after cleaning up the water Max said to me hey man that was nice of you to clean that up for zombie but little did he know zombie helped me way more then I helped him what’s your name Oso, hi Oso Im Max why are you in here? Well Max my mother pasted away and I tried to kill myself, I loved her so much, I had to try hard not to cry while telling him this; Max you know what Oso you don’t have to worry about anything because your mother will always be with you she will always be in your heart and no one can ever take that away from you. Max thank you; thank you very much. I got up put my bag in the garbage and went to my room.  


***you know people that was the only great thing that anyone has said to me since I came into this fucked up place and it came from another patient not a piece of shit doctor (drug dealer) who’s only goal is to ask me if I feel like killing myself today or some retarded nurse who I never saw before telling me that after I leave I should continue taking the medication because it will make me feel better after a while, Movie pause, oh shit so the meds are gonna suck my dick, fix me a sandwich and give me money so I won’t have to worry about bills as long as I take these pills? Lady I was born in Brooklyn and on behalf of all of them I would like to tell you to go eat a dick…. 

Back to the story or get this some dumb ass lady telling me I have been diagnosed with the inability to make decisions under stress full times WOW! Listen here stupid ho I’m black, 28, not in jail and I work at a fucking hotel as a loss prevention officer (security) and I haven’t killed any asshole guest or dumb ass associates so I think as far as decision making I’m up there with Opera and warren buffet but wait it gets better she also asks me what my goals are when I leave this shit hole really, really what my goals are. Movie pause, well bitch since trying to kill myself didn’t work out to perfection I’m gonna try my hand in robbing  banks so I can stick it up the asshole of these banking criminals that pleg our lands are you fucking kidding me when I went to my bed that night I really realized that this place or places like it are not set up to help people cope with issues in their daily life, its set up to destroy your minds so that when you re-enter society you don’t know if you’re coming or going and a lot of people feel that way already like there is no way out it’s like being in prison without the bars, I highly doubt that everyone in here needed medication (dop from the dop dealer) some people might have only needed someone to talk to, someone to listen, someone that didn’t have all the answers but was just there spending time, we don’t deserve to be doped up until we can’t remember our names, I’m sorry folks but maybe it’s just me or do all people who are sworn by some code of ethics have no ethics, the whole code of ethics thing is a big fat fucking joke because no one is being held accountable when they are not ethical. 

Doctors (drug dealers) rushed my mom into surgery to remove her breast because she had cancer please ask me why, no…. but that was a good guess because her job fired her for being out on sick leave to long and her insurance was going to be canceled now I’m not a rocket scientist or anything nor did I graduate from harvard but that shit don’t sound ethical to me. Back to the story
I don’t even think I slept that night I was so energized you know like right before a field trip at school that’s how I felt, but not because I was getting out, but because I wanted to get a pen and paper to start this story to help those like me who just need someone to talk to that doesn’t charge you $200 an hour to tell you nothing. Then most of us wonder why we are crazy you wanna know why dummy because your paying a dumb fuck who doesn’t know you $200 an hour to tell you about yourself! Oso time for breakfast I got my breakfast and toke it to my room this time I didn’t want to speak to anyone because I was doing nothing but brainstorming and did not want to be interrupted. 

After breakfast I hear doctor S talking to roommate outside, look roommate we have been over this everyday I’m not letting you out until I fell that your better , but doctor(drug dealer) I am I don’t want to hurt myself anymore, look I’m not discussing this with you anymore. Hi Oso, hi doctor(drug dealer) how are you feeling, great, do you want to kill yourself, no sir, are the meds (drugs) helping, yes sir they are, so you wanna go home, yes sir, hey if you want to stay I’ll keep you, well if you give me a TV in my room I’ll camp out for another week, hahaha you have a great sense of humor, yes I also have a foot that I would like to put up your ass I thought to myself, ok I’m going to sign your discharge papers you’ll talk to a case worker and you can go home, thank you sir. 

I continued to brainstorm in my bed, Oso time for your meds (drugs) got damn! Even before I get out of this dump there trying to fuck me up, open your mouth, I went straight to my room and you know the rest flush… as I walked out of the bathroom a nurse I never saw walked in and asked if I was Oso I said yes ma’ am your going to be given two meds (drugs) to take when you leave(  )  trust me Oso just keep taking the meds(drugs) and they will make you feel better after a couple of months. Movie pause SLAP!!! Shut the fuck up bitch and choke on a dick. Back to the story Yes ma’am I will, New nurse the case work will see you soon ok, Ok. I got back into bed thinking about how brain washed some of these nurses are it’s so sickening it makes me want to…. Oso yes ma’am, hi I’m shit for brains I’m your case worker can I take to you in the other room? Yes ma’am, so how are you, I’m great, are the meds (drugs) helping, yes they are, that’s good to know well I just want to go over a couple of things with you; do you have a place to stay upon your discharge? Yes with my father, ok will he be picking you up, Yes ma’am, ok we have your prescriptions and here is the card of a very good physiologist that is not too far from here you can make an appointment when you get out; so what are your goals when you get out. Movie pause what the fuck is this career day; a well you know what shit for brains I always wanted to be a pornstar and fuck as many women as I can how about I start with you meet me at the crib when I get out….. 

Back to the story
I want to go back to school and become a scientist, that’s good ok well I will start the paper work and all you have to do is wait for the doctor to sign your discharge papers and you can leave, thank you, your welcome. I went back to my room now… knowing that if I did not write about this I would not only be letting my mother down but also a lot of other people and all I ever wanted to do is help the less fortunate for real not like these fake ass foundations that steal money and make it seem like they are helping kids or curing diseases. Oso, yes ma’am, you can call someone to pick you up now everything is done, ok. People at that point there were fireworks going off in my brain I strutted to the phone and called my dad. (ring, ring, ring,) (ring ,ring, ring) You have reached the voice mail of ******* to leave a message FUCK!!!!!!! The one time I ever needed this man to pick up and he doesn’t, it’s not like I was a bill collector?????? Oh shit…… I was calling from the hospital; one of the biggest bill collectors in the world, filled with people who claim that they are in the business because they have a passion to help people; but when they are done passionately helping you….. 

They send you a bill for riding in the ambulance, a bill for you not dying, a bill for surviving without actually being on the show, a bill for being gay, a bill for being straight, a bill for being bi, a bill for being try, a bill for being high, a bill for being drunk, a bill for being sick, a bill for being black, a bill for being yellow, a bill for being white, a bill for being tall and a bill for being short, got damn!!! how am I going to pay for this shit!! (ring, ring, ring) Hello, Pop!!!! Yes.. Please come pick me up!! Oh they gonna let you out, yes!!! What did the doctor say, that I can go. Ok what do you need me to bring you, nothing just come now!! Do you need shoes, No just come!! Do you need a toothbrush, NO!!!!!! Hi you doing nurse Pat, (whispering) Please pops just come now please….. My house is 15min away but it seemed like this man took hours I wanted to get the hell out of there before anyone changed their mind about releasing me, but I guess it was ok it gave me a time to reflect on everything that happened, it was hard not to cry because all I could do at this point was think about my mom Maire born September 5th 1957 I thought of how much I loved her and how much I wanted to see her just one last time. 

Yeah she would want me to write about this place because just like me she was a free spirit and always did what she felt was right, a leader never thinking about walking in anyone’s shoes but her own and one of the strongest women I ever had the pleasure of being a part of, there will never be anyone stronger in my eyes. I will make her so proud one day I just know it; but I  just have to get over this hump, I know she will finally be happy and worry no more about my son or me and my drinking because once this story ends the excessive drinking ends along with it because I know she would have wanted it that way. It’s funny I always use to tell people to never take things for granted because you never know what you’ve had until you’ve lost it… I truly know what that feeling is like now, I LOVE YOU MOM. Oso!! Yes, your father is here, ok I jumped up like I was about to play the super bowl saying bye to roommate, zombie and Max. Thank you Max I told him for giving me a reason to keep going; he just laughed and kept shaking my hand that’s when I realized that they had already doped him up and he didn’t know what fuck I just told him, as I walked out it was as if I was walking in slow motion because I knew what I had to do once I left dop central I might catch hell for it but what would mom do. And that was my DAYS WITH THE CRAZIES...

Tags: sad, love, inspirational, deep, pain, sad, humor, inspirational, deep, pain,