I know why I live in the dark, my pain a running river there my body the river banks my soul the grey sky above and my heart the air,I can go on but I won't I'll pause a little,I know this walk through this poem for I have been here many a night I know the smell lingering a faded scent of a yellow rose yellow for friendship rose for the tattoo on my left shoulder,no detail here,lost in chapter 14,there are only made up stories here with borrowed words from worn out pages from empty books and broken head stones,no lives but my own,I walk alone with a stick in one hand a picture of you in the other and a head filled with memories,people try to reach me but can't get through reception here is poor the church pray for me they say that I need to committ to Jesus I know I can.went for a walk with my father once he sat in a bus stop and I stood by angry but silent hopeful but gone......wandering further and further away like a star,these words seam meaningless now empty and lifeless..I connect to disconnect to stay away to return to nothing I breathe polluted air simply because I can no i must no I can I think,thinking is far to kind to me it never let's me down my only friend.I hear voices around me clear and loud I don't like it I guess I'm sensitive like that,love?a pass time a fantasy bought some of the woman are really good at what they do I feel loved,paranoia my enemy loves me heaps it can't get enough of me it asked me to marry her but I....well I'm still thinking about it it wouldn't be too bad given the history we already have anyway I have a ring already its of angel wings brOken but fixable it's 4:53 on the am I'm tired but awake fed up but going lost in the found and alive.no one knows I'm here everybody thinks I've gone somewhere theyre waiting for me to come home,I dreamt it it felt like home I know cause I've never been there,my mind is thin and time is whispering goodbye I can't hear it but I know it's there gonna turn the page now.....