Edith had to take her washing To the local Launderette Because every time she hangs clothes on the line It starts to rain and everything gets wet The machines are dated and very noisy So everyone has to talk louder Edith hears Mrs Smart who lives in her street Shouting that she needs to buy more washing powder Sometimes when there are no available machines It can be quite annoying You have to sit there for ages And the pungent smell of conditioner is cloying Mrs Smart drops her washing And everyone sitting there can see That the label in her Berlei bra Boldly says forty four double d Elderly Mr Croft has washed his shirts After too many washes they look quite rough And everybody notices the fraying On the collars and the cuffs Edith sits next to Mrs Bloggs Who is wearing a heavy frown She’s been told they can’t get a stubborn stain Out of a satin christening gown The stain consisted of small black spots For which Mrs Bloggs had no explanation The assistant said that keeping it in polythene It could have been caused by condensation Mr Croft said “"Ladies, Should I re-enact the Levi's Adâ€? Edith said “keep your trousers on You’re old enough to be his dad. We don’t want to see your long-johns Or your knobbly knees. So do us all a favour And keep your clothes on, pleaseâ€" Mr Croft carefully folded his shirts As neatly as he could The zip on his laundry bag was broken So he did the best he could Mr Carson is the local doctor He’s very popular in the town He always wears a three piece suit Usually navy blue or brown He has never owned a washing machine And usually hand-washes in the sink He learned his lesson when a stray red sock Dyed all his white shirts pink His hour and a half at the Launderette He does on his day off Usually he is approached By a patient with an ache or a cough He tells them it’s his day of rest But this falls on deaf ears And he usually ends up surrounded By several old dears Mrs Telford sits next to her husband And you should have seen her face When he told the doctor in a loud voice He had an itch in an intimate place He then went on to give the doctor A very lurid description While his wife sat cringing The doctor wrote out a prescription When Edith’s whole weeks washing Was on its final spin Edith, Dr Carson and Mr Croft Were the only ones left in The lady at the counter informs them That the Launderette closes at four So Edith empties her machine And she prepares to go She says that having to go to the Launderette Can be such a pain She's barely got the words out When it suddenly starts to rain Mr Croft boldly asks Dr Carson for a lift And Edith thinks he’s got a cheek The doctor says “"the way the weather is I’ll probably see you back here next week"