Today is Monday, pension day Tommy is standing in the queue Behind him is his neighbour Who everyone calls Nosey Sue In front of him is Carol Who works in the general dealers He saw her in town the other day In her clapped-out Reliant three-wheeler The queue is getting longer And the odour isn't nice It’s a mixture of sweat and eau de cologne And some guy is wearing 'old spice' Carol turns to Tommy and says “There’s a lot of bills that need paying†He sees Sue listen attentively To hear what they are saying Sue tells them both “Gas and electric are getting dear†Carol says “you shouldn’t have been listening†with a sneer Sue looks put-out and turns her back on them A heavy smoker at the front coughs And says his chest is full of phlegm The girl behind the counter says “too much information†The man laughs and discloses he's on the list For a knee operation Tommy is tired of waiting While others stand without a care He sees a woman further back Spraying perfume in the air One of Tommy’s neighbours Her name is Bernadette Though attached to an oxygen supply Says she's gasping for a cigarette Tommy tells her she should pack them in But she says with a wry smile “It’s the smoking that keeps me thin It wouldn’t be worthwhile†The queue is getting shorter Tommy is almost at the front Heavy smoker spits on the floor But no-one dares confront Carol pays her bills And bids Tommy goodbye Sue gives her a dirty look But she has no idea why Tommy is now at the counter His pension to collect The cashier hands him the money And asks him to check it’s correct Tommy’s been given a fiver too much And hands the extra over Sue comments that if it had happened to her She'd have been in clover The cashier thanks Tommy for being honest Sue says she thinks he's mad “Honesty's the best policy†Tommy asserts “It’s a thing of the past and that’s sad†Sue smirks and says “You’re a fool, Tommy Jones I'd have kept it without a thought, Think of all the little treats That fiver would have bought†Tommy says to Sue, up-close so she can hear “I may not have that extra fiver, but my conscience it is clear†He bids farewell to Bernadette Still gasping for a smoke And waves his hand to the rest of the queue Even though they've never spoke Sue says “I’ll see you again next week Or maybe some other time And I hope the cashier makes a mistake Then that fiver will be mine†Tommy smiles at her and thinks ‘Will she ever learn?†He hopes the cashier doesn't slip up When it is Sue's turn