Identity
Isolated and solitude, alone I do feel.
My life is not my own,
Who am I?
What am I?
What is my purpose?
I was a person once, my identity filled my being.
I was who I am,
But who was I?
Suffocated and drowning, lost in a world which holds no meaning.
I am no meaning, I have no meaning.
Is there a purpose to this life that holds me so tight I feel strangled?
What is a life without purpose?
What is life without meaning?
What is the meaning of life? Is it really as simple as 42?
I do not know who I am!
I do not know what I am!
Do I wish this life to be over?
I cannot say, I cannot feel.
It eats away, deep inside, these thoughts I struggle day to day.
Every day I sit and stare, looking to see, do I care?
I cut myself, I bleed, why, what for?
What is this purpose? Why am I here?
I feel pain, I feel tired,
Yet nothing hurts and I do not tire.
I wake up, I look in the mirror, nothing but vileness and disgust,
What is this that stares back at me thus?
Who are you?
What do you want?
I need these answers for my life cannot continue.
I walk and feel I have stepped on something horrid and worthless, I stop to look.
I lift my shoe only to see myself!
What am I worth? I feel nothing, I hate myself.
What have I become?
Can my life be taken from me, did someone do this to me?
I cannot trust myself, I do not wish to, what is this thing that twists me so?
Have I always felt like this? I do not know, I cannot remember that far back.
You disgust me……. I say,
I hate you…….. I say,
Yet nothing happens, no response,
Where is your confidence, your self-esteem?
What is this confidence? What is self-esteem? Were these things ever a part of me?
I cannot say, I do not know.
I am afraid of who I am, afraid of who I was.
Can anyone help me?
There is no one here, am I alone?
I am so afraid of my life and what I would do, I fear for those around me, yet I do not care.
My friends, my family, no one really knows.
I wear a mask so no one can see,
I put up a front so no one cares,
Here is where I hide my pains, my fears, my self-loathing and contempt for the world I never asked to be born into.
Is there not one soul that can really truly see me?
No one notices, no one cares, and they walk past as though I was not there,
Am I invisible?
Do I really exist?
Am I the twisted, distorted figure of someone else’s imagination?
I feel such loss, such despair, anguish and torture,
My life,
I feel I cannot go on, I need help.
Please, anyone,
Hear my cries, my plea’s, my wants for help, why do you just walk on by?
So helpless, so lost, so alone.
Who am I, what is the point to my life?
What is my purpose?
