Her "Father"

Once upon a time there was a girl with a big loving family <3
She did grow up without her biological father by her side or in her life she still had an awesome childhood. One day she woke up and everything changed with the whole father situation, she just didn’t know it yet. Her beautiful mother had fallen in love once again. She thought this one would be just like the others her mother had ever fallen in love with, loving but would end up leaving like always. She was only 10 when her mother found love with this man, but as she turned 11, nothing changed. The man her mother loved was still there, it had been not a year yet but it was the longest one had stayed with her mother and her since her biological father. She soon started having faith in this one. She believed this one would be the one to stay in her life too, she was very happy about it. As time went by, they eventually split up…but…after a while, they ended up back together. The girl knew that this one would be the one to father her through out the rest of her life. They eventually split up again, she was devastated, but she knew they weren’t over just yet. Eventually they ended up back together as she thought, it had already been a year. He was there as she first started middle school, she was excited, but scared. As her mom and new partner been off and on with each other worrying about everything else, she grew depressed but no one ever really noticed her quietness or when she started wearing long sleeves or hoodies all the time even when it was hot out. Also when the sharpener blades went missing or when a knife went missing for an hour or a day or two. After a while her mother eventually saw her arms while she was doing dishes, her mom wasn’t very happy with her after what she had seen. Her out had came to live with them for a while, but when her aunt had seen what the girl had done to her arms she freaked out. Her aunt kept telling her she was crazy and needed help, but the girl didn’t want to believe it. She soon started feeling worse about herself because of what her aunt had been telling her, so she eventually started cutting again and once again got caught. Her mom sat her down and asked her why she had been feeling so down and hateful of herself? The her responded about how she would be called names in school and get made fun of because of what she looked like and her weight. Her mother had reminded her about how beautiful she was and always has been but she didn’t believe it. She thought no on liked her or loved her like family or anything so she got even worse and started picking fights at school and hanging out with the wrong people and getting in trouble and skipping classes. Her mother had soon gotten tired of it and started punishing her. She soon had realized that it had officially been two years since her mother had been off and on with the same man who’d been a father figure to her and thinly one she had ever known. She had gotten so happy but then, something happened that made her just die inside…and it wasn’t any friend or boy or anything like that. It was December and her aunt had been in the hospital for a while and she was really old and sick but it was about just a couple of weeks till christmas, she heard her grandmother crying in her room after getting off the phone, she asked what was wrong. Her grandmother told her that the aunt she had in the hospital had died last night in her sleep. The girl suddenly felt her heart drop…she felt her whole world come crashing down on her. She cried so much, eventually the rosary came…she decided to go, even though she was so heart broken, she wanted to say good bye. She and the whole family went and while they were showing the pictures of her aunt the girl out of no where started crying even harder than ever and she couldn’t breath and she just panic and started screaming and crying and just could not control it, they took her out of the room and to go get a drink of water. She had finally started breathing again after calming down a little bit. She did think she could go back in there and look at her favorite closest aunts dead cold body. She had the choice to go home but she eventually decided not to because she wanted to say good bye. So she went back in and she went to her casket and she said her good byes while crying but you could barely understand what she was saying over the the crying, but she said her good byes and her prayers and how much she loved her aunt and then it happened again she had panicked again and she could not breathe, eventually they took her home because she could not handle it. As the days went by, her mothers boyfriend had been trying to get her to go out and have fun with her family. She soon realized how long it had been since  her mothers boyfriend had stayed in their lives. She was very happy about that and soon she started seeing him as who own father, the only father figure she had actually really had in her life. She loved him like she was his own daughter. <3 She thought he would stay forever in her and her mothers lives. It had been about 2 years and a half. One night her “dad” (mothers boyfriend) went “out” to a friends and he ended up staying out all night and came home drunk, mother was very upset. Her mother said she was done with him because of the staying out all night and all the lies and secret text messages to other women. She told him to pack his stuff and leave, the girl got very upset but understood where her mother was coming from. He didn’t leave, he stayed for about a week and the whole time, mother always told him to just leave already. He didn’t leave, until, one night her little brother was in the room with their “father”(moms boyfriend) and his real kids, she was in the living room, and mother was in the shower, the girls heard her little brother start screaming and that lead to crying, so she ran to her little brother to see what was wrong, and he told her what happened, she got very angry about what they had did and starting yelling the words, “what the hell?! Why did they do that to you??!!!” She decided to call her grandma to tell her what happened and as she started calling, her grandma walked in the front door, the girls had told her what had happened. Her grandmother told her that when mother gets out of the shower to take her to grandmas room and tell her what happened. So the girl did, mother got very angry and marched straight to the room and started yelling at all of them, cursing and telling them why did they do that and whats wrong with them. The girl soon could not hold in her anger anyone and started to yell at them and say mean things, soon the words just slipped out…she told her “father”, “You might as well just save yourself some time and pack your stuff and your little brats you call kids and leave!” They all looked at her and were shocked, she was shocked herself. She stormed out of the room and went to her little brother and told him to stay with her in the living room and he decided to go back to the room while mother went back to the bathroom. After about 5 minutes, she hears crying,she sees her little brother walking toward her…he has tears in his eyes…she asked what had happened, why was he crying again? He told her that they were saying mean things to him. At that point she knew they had to leave, she didn’t want her little brother being picked on like that, she was afraid that getting picked on, especially by the ones you love, would be a starter on depression and she did not want her little brother to end up depressed like she did… So she told mother that she wanted that “man” and his little brats out of that house by morning. Well when she woke up the next morning, they were gone, he was gone, half of his stuff was gone… She busted out in a million tears… she thought she could handle him leaving, but she couldn’t. She had forgotten that day was her uncles birthday, so she sucked it up and tried to stay happy with a smile on her face. Later that day she had seen that he had returned to the house, she was so happy but yet very angry at the same time. It was like part of her wanted him to stay, because she loved him as her own father and he was the only father figure in her life, but another part of her wanted him gone, because he made her little brother and her mothers life a living hell at some times. She was tired of his crap too. He had eventually ended up staying, but the girl never spoke to him, she kept her distance, she slept on a chair at night just to avoid sleeping in the same room as him sometimes, she stayed locked up in a room sometimes to avoid being near him, she cooked and made food for herself or asked her mother to feed her sometimes to avoid having him make her dinner or snacks to avoid talking to him, she just kept avoiding him, even though it hurt her so much, she would rather be hurt for a couple of months or a year or two instead of having to make the same mistake over and over again by trusting him as a father or a friend. She decided she wants to live her life without having to worry wether someone stayed in her life or not, and she knew it was not going to be easy, but she promised herself she would work on it. She now is working on it and stay positive and be around good vibes only. <3

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