HOOVERING IS A CHORE AND ALSO A BORE

poem by: Darryl Ashton
Written on Feb 04, 2018

HOOVERING IS A CHORE AND ALSO A BORE



I've fallen in love with my 
cleaner,
My cleaner and I are as
one,
No trouble and strife
With her in my life - 
To push her and pull her
is fun. 

Yes the love of my life is
my cleaner,
The two of us make a 
good team,
Her cyclonic action
I find an attraction - 
We glide round the home
in a dream.

Her vacuuming skills are
Her pipework it seems
never blocks.
Dust, fluff and grit - 
She absorbs every bit;
Stand too close and she'll
suck off your socks.

We waltz, we shimmy, 
then tango,
Our progress I'm sure is
enhancing.
Round settee and chair
Just like Fred Astaire - 
It's as though we're on
Strictly Come Dancing. 

She ingests all those creepies
and crawlies,
Those insects who think 
they're good hiders,
They look so surprised
When finally prised,
Like wood lice and long-
legged spiders. 

She's designed to be worked
by all ages,
Like children and pensioned
off nannies,
With a flexible hose - 
Yes you need one of those
To ensure you've cleaned
all nooks and crannies.

I keep her in pristine 
condition,
If you don't then I'm Dyson
with death,
She gets out of kilter
When she's got a blocked
filter - 
Like us humans, she can't
get her breath.

Come the day when her
motor falls silent,
It will fill the house full
of gloom.
Would I get another?
Don't think I'd bother,
I'll revert to a long-handled
broom.

BY
DARRYL ASHTON

    

 

Tags: Humor,

Add Comment


Ja Ja commented on Feb 04, 2018 at 8:14pm
You're in love with a vacuum cleaner. You must have the right demeanor. No dirt or insect can outmaneuver. A man in control of a Hoover. Thank you for the entertaining read
Fadrian Bartley commented on Feb 05, 2018 at 12:22am
I LIKE IT LOVELY

 

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