Steps

poem by: Denika Mica
Written on Nov 07, 2017

I can’t shake this feeling. Something is wrong. 
I don’t trust my friends like I use to. 
Things just are not the same. 
When I was a kid I would run to them with everything, 
And now I run from them to be alone.
I traded in my warm heart, for one frozen cold.
I can't take this world at face value, 
Cause on the surface it looks fucked up.
More people dead on the news, 
A president in my lifetime has never came off so rude.
The people are angry, only come together to march in the streets.
Nothing is changing, and my positive spirit is growing weak.
My music is loud, the playlist in-between.
I want to be happy, I want to have faith
But in this dark time, my smiles been replaced with paint.
I try and I try, and I will keep trying till I die. 
I don’t even know what I am trying for,
But I wont let my feet stop.
Just keep telling myself “right, left, right”.
I keep my eyes on my surroundings.
Its hard to see through this water in my vision.
I feel like Alice in Wonderland, the signs are so confusing:
That way or this way, over there or under here, to decode it impossible.
If only the queen took my head, then I wouldn’t have to think.
Left right left, just keep taking steps 
There is no easy way out. 
Just hold on Denika, we will figure this shit out. 
Or we wont, at least we can say we tried
And through all the tears and the fears
At least you can say you hid the pain in your eyes
But what’s the use of hiding the pain?
When your friends find out they will tell you
“you only have yourself to blame”.
Thank you captain obvious!
I know Its all my fault.
This is my life, it doesn’t belong to anyone else. 
Right, left, right. Just keep it moving
You cant stop now, you cant even rest.
Even when your legs are weak, 
Even when the paint is gone,
Even when the path ends, 
Left, right, left through the trees. 
I can’t see what is ahead of me
Due to budget cuts the lights are off
God help me now because my faith is failing.
Love find me soon because misery won’t let me go.
If you don’t come soon, I fear my heart will be stuck cold. 
And if my heart dies, then there will be no more steps to take
I will sit here in the dark, and I will never leave this place. 

 

Tags: Sad, Depressing, Pain, Deep,

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Taha Hassan commented on Nov 08, 2017 at 3:30am
Sadly enough, this is relatable. quite most of today's generation feels like that and they are not wrong to feel like that at all. These are dark times indeed. What we should do is lighten them up a bit. stay close to the ones that understand us and keep trying to hope, keep trying to push against the darkness. Very well written Denika. Much liked. Message me anytime if you need help with anything regarding anything. Also, Promote this poem, will you?
Frank byrne commented on Nov 08, 2017 at 11:02am
It must be a terrible place to be in when you have depression......it must be like trying to escape from a black hole.....I can only imagine.....luckily I've not been there..........but sometime, somehow...try and think of any happier times in your life, and interpret them into poetry......poetry is so therapeutic..it really is........good luck Denika....I look forward to reading more of your positive poems.......
Denika Mica commented on Nov 08, 2017 at 5:41pm
Thanks Taha and Frank for your comments. I was in a dark place yesterday, everything just felt off. This poem just kind of formed effortlessly and in a way described the weight of problems on my mind. I have some old poems I am thinking about posting to here, and I feel on the edge of inspirtation for some love poems too. So feel free to check back in a couple days for some new material. I'm still new here so don't have enough points to promote yet. I will work on it. I gave out a few comments last night, and will give out some more later today.
Cecilia Crasto commented on Nov 08, 2017 at 10:39pm
Denika, these two wonderful gentlemen have given you some good advice and I hope you take it on board, it is sad that someone so young is feeling depressed about life, when you should be having fun and enjoying your youth, but I completely understand, the world has never been a nice place. I'm sure you have read about the previous wars and the terrible hardship those people endured, I think that if we want to dispel sadness, we should try to dispel it in others, there is always someone worse off. You have talent so keep writing.

 

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