THE HASSLES OF SHOPPING

poem by: Darryl Ashton
Written on Oct 09, 2017

I'm in the shopping centre
with a bit of time to kill.
I wander aimlessly around,
about an hour I must fill.
My wife has disappeared
again, ticking off her list.
Also adding many extra
things that she cannot
resist.

'Just look at this', she will
say, 'it really was a snip.
'You pop a cherry in that
tube, it then removes the
pip.
'And this is even handier',
she will say with glee.
'You put an onion on that
spike and it slices it in
three'.

I'll look at her but will not
speak; once again she's
gone insane.
When shopping on her own,
something happens to her
brain.
Our kitchen's full of 'handy'
gadgets, thanks to my crazy
wife.
Each and every one could
be replaced by just one knife.

We have things to cut curly
carrots, it will slice and dice
and shred.
Why do we need such a
thing? What goes on inside
her head?
I can see her now with her
bags, struggling through the
crowd.
'Please take all that rubbish
back,' I long to shout out
loud.

As she gets near I can see
contentment in her face.
I take the bags, we hurry
home - I'll have to make
some space.
So beware when shopping - 
do not accompany the
wife.
But if you do, just stay silent,
or she'll cause you lots of 
strife. 

No matter what she says
or buys - she'll cause you
much dismay.
Especially when you know
too well - she'll always make
you pay!

BY
DARRYL ASHTON

 

 

Tags: Humor,

 

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