Drowning, Surrounding
I feel invisible. It feels as if no one cares. No one cares that I am slowly drowning in the cold, harsh salt water of which I’ve been pushed, no shoved into. I’ve not been taught how to swim in this ocean of my screaming thoughts telling me, “you’re not good enough” and “how dare you feel happy” and when I open my eyes to look through the cloudy water slowly filling my every soul and being, I look up. I look up and see the faces of people that claim they care about me. Even as i am drowning they are still shouting from outside the ocean water that burns my lungs, “I care about you!” But their words sound as blurry and cloudy as the water I reside in. These are the same people who are silent as I scream from the abyss that has taken over me, it is no longer me against the abyss, because I am the abyss. There is no salvation for me as I plea. I cry and beg and even fight, but it is useless, the demons have already won this battle that is occurring inside me. The demons that were once lowly drums beating in my brain, have now become an orchestra, playing song after song and there is no pause button, I get no breaks. There is only a stop button, I am scared to press. I now listen carefully to what the demons have to say, because they scream the truth my heart is afraid to even whisper.