GENERAL CUSTER AND HIS SCOUSE SCOUT

poem by: Darryl Ashton
Written on Aug 30, 2017

General Custer had a scout,
the young man was no fool.
The best scout Custer ever
had - he came from Liverpool.

Custer was trapped inside
a fort, outside, redskins 
everywhere.
'If you can't help us,' Custer
said, 'we're going to lose
our hair!'

'We're in trouble,' he went
on, 'we need help and support,
Can you tell how many braves
are hanging 'round this fort?'

The Scouser went down on
his knees, his ear close to the
ground.
He said: 'Two hundred Indians
are hanging about and around.'

'A lot of redskins,' Custer said,
'how many ride a horse?
It would help to know the 
answer before we meet this
mighty force.'

The Scouser knelt down once
again.
His ear to the ground he put.
'One hundred and sixty are on
horse,' he said, 'and 40 are
on foot.'

'That's marvellous,' the general
said, 'what weapons have 
they got?
If we know the details, we can
beat this scurvy lot.'

'They've all got bows and 
arrows, of rifles there's four
score,
And loads and loads of 
tomahawks: they mean to
spill our gore!'

'What else is there?' the 
general said, 'is there anything
else to tell
Before these braves attack us
and send our souls to Hell?'

The Scouser said: 'The big 
chief has a headdress tipped
with red,
And the medicine man beside
him has a top hat on his head.'

'You've told us lots,' the general
said, 'and your advice is sound.
But how is it you learn so 
much by putting your ear to
the ground?'

'It's nothing,' said the Scouser
scout, 'and I could tell you
more - 
'Cos when I put my ear to the
ground, I can see right under
the door!'


BY
DARRYL ASHTON   

 

Tags: humor,

 

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