The sweetest words I ever heard Were told to me by a little bird. As I sat beneath the silver birch He came and landed on his perch. He whispered softly in my ear Little secrets I needed to hear. My neighbor had stolen my garden gnome And the golden peaches I'd lovingly grown. She'd tried to lure my husband he said But failed to tempt him into her bed. Her husband was seen in another's arms For he could not resist the lady's charms. All these secrets I will hoard and treasure And in return I'll give measure for measure!