Hope for the hopeless
You gave me a gift,
A gift of hope,
Holding me to the reality,
Telling me it is not a dream,
For I wandered helplessly,
For months floating about,
You string part of me back to the ground,
With your stories.
To your stories, your visions
I listened.
Genuinely thrilled,
I have always been,
With you around,
Never knew I'd actually be.
More than I question anything,
I question what is it in you that is intriguing,
I could have walked away in seconds,
Said no to everything you initiated,
Which I'm good at shutting people out,
But I could never say no to you.
Foolishly I just followed,
Never want to reveal myself,
But you knew.
I knew that slowly you strutted in,
To my maze of walls,
"Remember those walls I've built
Baby they tumbling down
They didn't even put up fight
They even make a sound"
True enough that lyrics to picture those walls I've built that meant absolute nothing to your presence.
But still I hold onto myself tight.
Little talks,
All that lunch hours,
Much of the worries where it started off early,
Little care here and there,
Slowly I care for you more than I thought I would.
To me, to my eyes, you showed interest as well,
The kind where you play with my mind,
Ones where I'd only realise when I go back home whether,
Did you mean that or am I just thinking too much?
Always choosing the latter I brush them off.
Sooner, I started weighing things,
Thinking too much of what you say,
What would you have meant,
My mind says I'm losing it,
My clan warned me,
Isn't it too late, it already is.
I know that craze took over me,
From which I had control before,
All gone loose the moment I knew this impulsive one, you.
I dont know, I really dont.
I'm imagining things arent I?
Questioning everything you say,
Chaining every single things you say and to think that you might actually like me back
I think so much ..just too much!
I can't breathe easy,
Sleepless nights pass by,
I have decided to let you know,
It may result in letting you go,
Us walking away in different paths,
Not a beginning of something new,
But demarcation of closure,
The closure of what was us.
It creeps me out,
The reality,
What would you say in return,
It scares me to even believe that you might say that you feel the same,
I can't I just couldn't!
It stops right there.
I'm telling you of how I feel,
I'm tearing up, walking away.
Silently hoping you'd stop me or hold me back,
But I feel you'd say nothing in return,
I'm in nowhere near in comparison to you?
Why would you even feel something towards me?
I understand.
That was all I have thought and am puzzled of.
For this might actually had happened,
For this would be the reason why you're reading this,
I want you to know that,
I never regretted a moment with you.
And I'm sorry I jeopardised what we were,
I dont want to put you in uncomfortable position dealing with me feeling this way towards you,
And so thanks for everything; for making me smile,
For giving hope to the hopeless,
For this is worthy of memory.
I'll see you when I see you.
~Nara~
