Sam the dog and Pearl the cat

Sam the dog and Pearl the cat 
Were sitting on the wall 
They do it every day 
So it isn't strange at all 

They have little conversations 
Which only they can understand 
They talk about their little quirks 
And none of them are planned 

Pearl goes first of course 
And Sam lets her have her say 
He knows better than to interrupt 
He learnt his lesson the other day 

“I scratch my scratching post 
And I chase my clockwork mouse 
I leave my loving mistress 
Little gifts all around the house 

I eat all of my food 
Then I use my litter tray 
Or sometimes one of her slippers 
When she looks the other way 

I sleep lots throughout the day 
Until about half past seven 
Then I think it’s playtime 
Until well after eleven 

Each day she fills my water bowl 
But I don't use it for a drink 
I prefer to use the kitchen tap 
While balancing on the sink 

I like to lodge my face in things 
And my mistress gets fed up 
The other day I got it stuck 
Inside a paper cup 

I've got a lovely padded bed 
For when I need a sleep 
But I sleep in the bathroom hand-basin 
It’s nice and cool and deep 

I love it on a Tuesday 
My mistress gets her magazine 
I sit my bottom on it 
It’s pages sight unseen 

One of my favourite pastimes 
Is scratching on the door 
I make her think I want to go out 
Then I curl up on the floor 

I put on my needy face 
When I smell nice food 
My mistress never shares with me 
How can she be so rude? 

I like to go upstairs 
On the bed I like to lie down 
Nestled in a furry ball 
On a fluffy dressing gown 

Sometimes I hide in cupboards 
Then suddenly jump out 
My mistress tells me off for startling her 
You probably hear her shout 

I sit on the laptop keyboard 
While my owner tries to chat 
To her human friends on Facebook 
I soon put a stop to that” 

Sam now has his say at last 
And looks straight at Pearl, the cat 
“You think you get into mischief, 
Well I can better that 

I love going into town 
Though it isn’t very far 
My favourite thing is the lovely breeze 
On my head out of the window of the car 

Sometimes my mistress brings me a doggy bag 
From her favourite restaurant 
It contains all of my favourite things 
She knows exactly what I want 

Last week she took me in the car 
Allegedly to the park 
It was really a trip to the vets for ‘the snip' 
I was totally kept in the dark 

I do a vanishing act at bath time 
I always hide under the bed 
So I get taken out to the garden 
And end up getting hosed-down instead 

Whenever my belly is scratched 
No matter where we are 
I lay on my back with my legs in the air 
As if playing an air-guitar 

I love rolling in smelly stuff 
Much to my owner’s dismay 
It's one of my favourite pastimes 
I do it almost every day 

I'm the master of the head-tilt 
When I smell nice food on the table 
I sometimes get some scraps 
But not from greedy aunt Mabel 

Odd times I chase my tail 
I chase it round and round 
Then I spin around a couple of times 
Before exhaustedly lying down 

I keep eating grass 
When my tummy is upset 
But sometimes I eat too much 
And I end up at the vet” 

It’s almost five ‘o’ clock 
Both hear the rattling of a tin 
That sound means it is dinner time 
Time to be going in 

Sam gently says to Pearl 
“See you tomorrow, the same time” 
Pearl preens her whiskers and purrs softly 
Then over the wall she starts to climb 

Sam spies a muddy patch 
He'll save it for another day 
Then he'll see his pal, Pearl the cat, 
When she’s next out to play

Tags: humor, rhyme,