ALEKSANDR ORLOV GOES TO ALDI...PART TWO

poem by: Darryl Ashton
Written on Jul 08, 2016

My name is Aleksandr Orlov,
and I'm from Meerkovo.
We like to go to the Aldi
store, to buy some tasty
Vimto.
There is no Aldi in our
home town village,
And we always pay big
money - it really is so
sacrilege!

We like to go to Aldi - 
they are popular in the
UK.
They are so very cheap
you see, because Sergei
makes me pay!
I have to watch my money,
I pay wages to Servant 
Sergei.
And I always have to buy
the food - I feel so much
dismay!

I have to pay for new IT - 
as computermabob is now
faulty.
And Sergei is getting bossy,
and also very naughty!
But Aldi don't sell computers,
so we have to shop around.
Staples is our best bet, 
they are on our home ground.

We have been to America - 
and we also saw the Aldi.
Then Sergei got very cheeky,
he asked Aldi for a freebie!
"Sergei? Please behave - or
you will, again, be ill.
And if you like going
shopping - you have to be
professional!"

Sergei likes to wander, as
he has to babysit,
He looks after Oleg, and he
makes me throw a fit!!!!
But we always enjoy our
shopping, and it always
makes our day.
So may I recommend to
you all - the UK's favourite...
ALDI!!!!!!

Sergei has got skittle belly,
he eats too many crisps.
He's always eating his
Aldi crisps, and he makes 
me lick my lips!
Oleg also makes a mess, 
and why does he wear
a dress?
Maybe in hottest Africa - 
he was in such distress!

But now we are back home - 
in our big posh mansion.
But Sergei's always moaning - 
and he gives me indigestion!!!!
Life should be simples, so
we are now going to the
Aldi.
Welcome back to England,
now let's have a meerkat
party!!!!

I now have to take a rest,
as Sergei makes me tired.
Sergei has to be careful, 
he knows he could be 
fired.
But, he is so very loyal - 
and he is so very old.
He always goes to Aldi - 
well, this is what I'm
told!

So, as Aldi continues to
bloom and spread across
America.
They are opening a new
'simples' store - in sunny
California!
I bet they wish they had
IT boss - like my good
friend; 'Servant Sergei'.
And as we leave the
USA - we say; 'good
luck to Aldi!' 

    
BY
DARRYL ASHTON  

 

 

Tags: humor,

 

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