why did i start

poem by: Melissa Blan
Written on May 26, 2016

I still remember my first cigarette..
Still remember how the smoke filled my lungs..
I cough not use to the taste..
But I don't remember why I started..
Can't remember if it was because everyone did it..
Or I was just finding another reason to kill myself..
Because now six years later..
I still hold a cigarette to my mouth wondering why I started..
Now I don't care if people think I'm cool..
I don't care if I don't fit in..
I press the cigarette to my mouth.
Let the smoke enter my lungs..
The taste of nicotine remains on the tip of my lips..
And I thought pops into my mind..
Louder then all the other thoughts..
"Why did you start"..
I don't really remember..
I can remember everything bout that day..
Except the reason why I started..
Now I look at a smoke..
Thinking maybe one day it would be the death of me..
But is it why I started..
A quicker death..
Or was there a true reason..
So important that it hurt so much..
That my heart keeps it secret from my mind..
So I wouldn't remember that pain..
I wonder..
Why did I start...

x


 

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