im always fine

poem by: Melissa Blan
Written on May 26, 2016

I can't see pass the tears in my eyes..
One more night of this..
Of all this pain.. 
All these feeling..
All these thoughts going through my head..
I don't know what to do no more..
I'm trying so hard not to give up..
But it becomes harder..
I just want to give in..
Just want it all to stop..
Just want everything to go back..
back to those days where nobody knew..
Those days that everyone thought that everything was okaii..
That the depression I have was only for me to know about..
I can feel my legs itch from the scars..
They beg for more..
I can even hear my razors..
But I know if I do it again..
I'll be gone.. 
They'll send me to the hospital..
And more people will know..
That my smile is a mask..
That I'm not the happiest person they think I am..
I just wish the mask had not slip..
Just like those words slipped from my mouth..
And now they know..
I'm sorry..
I know this isn't what you wanted from me..
I know you wish you didn't know..
I know it all..
And I understand..
I'm sorry..
Its my fault that this happened..
Its my fault that I'm like this..
Don't worry bout me..
I'll be fine.. 
I always am....

 

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